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Two Keys to Controlling Your Mouth

2 Keys to Controlling Your Mouth

“If you don’t pick them up NOW they are going in the garbage and that’s the last you’ll see of those beans!”


I just yelled at my son over beans.

$2.00 worth of beans have caused me to get red-faced, yell like a crazy person and threaten to do something I won’t do anyway.

That was weeks ago.

Now I hear, “You gonna go in the garbage truck in a minute!” from our three year old when he gets mad and I struggle to explain that it isn’t nice to say that.

Yes, Mommy did say it but it was wrong. 

You want to be a kind and respectful boy, you don’t want to talk like that. 

But you don’t want to talk like Mommy. 

What confusion I’ve created for this precious little child.

Be like Mommy and Daddy – no wait, don’t be like us when we lose our temper, get angry, yell or say stupid stuff.

No Wonder Silence is Golden

It’s no wonder they say silence is golden. If we’d learn to stop, breathe and pray before we opened our mouths just 50% of the time I think life would be much sweeter and the above scenarios wouldn’t play out as often.

We get frustrated with our kids, spouses, co-workers, friends and the guy who can’t find the gas pedal.  It’s not the frustration that’s wrong, but what we do with it that causes pain, shame, guilt and confusion.

Yes, I had asked him 3 times to clean up the beans he loves to play with. (Yep, he plays with beans on the living room carpet with his little construction equipment. It’s ingenious, really.  Low mess, hours of fun!)

Yes, I had burned two grilled cheese sandwiches leading up to said crazy-person incident.

Yes, I had a lot on my plate.

No, there’s no excuse for my mouth.

Now, I will work diligently to undo the damage done and the seed planted in my son’s mind that throwing something or someone in the garbage is acceptable to say.

The Lord is showing me just how much my mouth gets me in trouble and it’s humbling.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
~ Proverbs 18:21

Lord, help me with  my mouth.

Key #1 – Take Something for Diarrhea

If someone you love has diarrhea you would give them something to help relieve their intestinal pyrotechnics? Well, friend, if you talk too much then you’ve got diarrhea of the mouth and you need some good meds.

You must learn to stop the flow.  I find myself saying the wrong things way too often because I just let whatever comes to mind fly right out of my mouth. When we take every thought captive it’s easier to stop the flow.  Thoughts become words.  Time with the Lord is the best medicine to stop the pyrotechnics of the mouth from spewing all over everyone.

Key #2 – Think Before You Speak

 “That sucks.” or “It’s not bad but I think I like the other one better.”  Which would you rather hear?

I worked for a man I respected who said often, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  I could not agree more.

Some say it’s coddle or beating around the bush but I say it’s speaking directfully-respectfully.  Yes, I know directfully isn’t a word.  My point is that we can be direct and show respect when we talk.

Are you driving your family away with harsh, negative words?  Are you speaking out word curses and death with negative talk about your life and current situations?

It’s time for a change.

In her book How to Manage Your Mouth – A 30 Day Wholesome Talk Challenge Connie Hughes explores how we can change our words and control our tongue.  This 3o day devotional ebook will challenge you to be aware of your words, stop speaking and make better word choices.  I’ve read through the book multiple times. Each read I glean a bit more insight about myself and my mouth problem. This is a great tool to help you realize what you’re saying and how to manage the tongue.


For the Kids

Maybe your mouth isn’t the problem, or maybe like me, you’ve hand-made a problem for you kiddos with your bad examples.

No worries.  How to Mange Your Mouth for Kids is also available.


What a better way to show your children a good lesson in recognizing your sins, repenting and learning how to live free from those sins than to work together to manage the family mouths!   Connie offers a Mouth Bundle with both books for $9.97.




What is your biggest mouth challenge? How can you change to create a better environment in your home?

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  1. Hi, I just read your blog about opening your mouth and I am now confused about the message you want to send me. Why? Due to a couple of typo’s . I know what you wanted to say, however, paying attention to the details of what you are saying can have a great big impact. Please read your blogs, slowly and carefully. I like constructive criticism when it is meant to help and not hinder, and that is what I would like to convey. Please don’t take it as an insult. 🙂

    • Danielle says:

      Hi Jan! I take no insult! I appreciate your comment and I’ve corrected the typo’s I found. Thanks so much!

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