Restoring the Lost Petal

MTFW Disclaimer

Does Talking About Sexuality Put Christians At Risk To Sin

Should we refuse to talk about sexuality, porn and erotica for fear someone may be tempted?

Since being part of the Pulling Back the Shades book team I watched my team members be chastised by family and friends for their passion and desire to see women’s eyes opened to the truth. I fully expected negativity and the ever-popular, finger pointing Matthew 7:1, the most popular scripture of Atheists, Agnostics and other religions.

As soon a Christian stands up to say, “Hey wait, I think this might be a slippery slope,” or, “Hey this is not a good thing to be doing.” We are accused of being judgmental, narrow minded, prudish and hateful.  I read a bit further in Matthew and see verse 13, but that’s a different post.

So I wasn’t shocked when accusation and half understood verses were being hurled like snow balls during a a neighborhood snowball fight. I was a bit disappointed when at the number of Christian women who have been mean, disrespectful and downright abusive to God’s word in their attack against exposing trap of erotica.

It would be like if you were running toward a cliff and I was trying to save you and some other gal was like, “Don’t judge her! Let her go, she’s free to run where ever she chooses, she knows God. You don’t know her personal life, mind your business,”….. and the next thing you know she ran off the cliff to her death. Her and thousands of others just like her. So caught up in running toward something shiny, they can’t see that death is before them.

Enter the next group of on lookers who want to know why no one has stopped all these women from death. They lament, “How did it get so bad?” I’ll tell you how.

Because the majority fails to speak up.

I don’t write about biblical sexuality because I woke up one day and thought, “I think I’ll write a bunch of posts that condemn and judge and make my Christian (and non Christian) friends uncomfortable.” I write because I have my own story of not-so-biblical sexual behavior and I know first hand the damage is it does.

The idea that we are making sin worse by exposing it is lie and scheme of the devil. It is NOT the mindset a Christian should have. We cannot expose darkness by hiding in our prayer closets. 

Here’s a snippet of this mentality:

“Once you became a voice for the book “Pulling Back the Shades” my interest then began to wonder what Fifty Shades was about…………. I was not curious enough to watch the trailer or read even a page but decided to look up the title. What I read was evil and there were pictures that rotated through in a window on that page. What was once far off, had now been brought near to my heart simply because some Christian authors are bringing it attention. This exposure of Dr. Juli and Danha is not necessarily doing good, but also bringing innocent women into a world of curiosity and evil. I will not read their book, but I will immerse my heart in the truth of the Word. I don’t have to know evil to avoid evil. I don’t have to argue evil, we all know what is evil and the Bible is very clear. These women in my opinion are stirring up something in hearts that may end up not being glorifying in the end. For Dr. Juli to say she watched the trailer that was enough for me to discount her book. God’s Word says to flee – that means run – not take a peek.”

Guard, then Google

So many things here that make me want to cry. First, we are all born with the tendency to yield to temptation. This gal’s yielding to the temptation is the issue not the warning to not look. She made the choice to Google before she guarded.

In scripture we see Jesus doing some very counter-cultural things and hanging out with sketchy people. Do you think He never overheard a course joke, saw a boob or heard the sexual exploits of the “unbelievers” around Him?

We must be in constant prayer, guarding our hearts when we address issues such as these. Dr. Juli told us at a recent event I attended that she literally read 50 Shades on her knees, in a posture of prayer as to be continually submitted to God. She did not curl up on the couch with popcorn and candle light or lie in bed and read before she drifted off to sleep leaving memories to linger and sink in. She prayed and read, prayed more and read and pray, a lot more.

My friend Linda from Life Station Express digs deep into subjects that many are afraid to touch. Her job as a pastoral counselor puts her in contact with people who need help and deliverance from demonic strongholds. She must be a student of God’s word but she must also study the enemy. There’s a difference.  She gleans and learns from Christ but she must understand the enemy and his ways. She isn’t a student of the enemy but she observes and learns about his tactics.

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents,
and harmless as doves.” ~ Matthew 10:16

Are You Uncomfortable?

I believe the root of this nastiness comes from Christian women being uncomfortable. We’re uncomfortable with our sexuality, we’re uncomfortable standing up for Truth, we’re uncomfortable with making people uncomfortable. We’ve been so driven to be hospitable, graceful peacemakers that we forgot the Jesus who turned over tables in righteous anger.

That is the same mentality that says “we can’t talk to our children about sex because then they’ll want to shack up with someone.” Who thinks that way you ask? Thousands of parents. That’s why schools are teaching “sexual education” and giving condom demonstrations.

The food commercials made me fat……..

The car commercials made me go into debt…….

The flashing XXX sign made me go into the adult toy shop…………

No, no no! We have a God who lives in us and who wants us to carry his light into this dark world. We live IN the world but we are not OF the world, that doesn’t mean we stick our heads in the sand. If we fled every time we saw and heard evil how would we save anyone? Should we just throw a Bible at them and run in the other direction? People are searching for answers and power and freedom.  We have that and so much more in Christ.  

We are His boots on the ground saving people from themselves. We do it in love with Truth. Yes, some people are going to feel judged and condemned even when that is not at all our intention.  To those I’ll say this:

If you feel judged or condemned could it really be the Holy Spirit trying to convict you of something that needs addressed? Could it be you are so immersed in a lie that you cannot see God’s conviction over the Devil’s condemnation?

To ignore the truth, it to keep evil in the dark. We are to be light carries that expose evil.




moving banner


  1. I see nothing wrong with someone reading something on their knees while in submission to God, in order to help others. I choose not to look at the movie trailer, etc. to protect myself. Others may be able to watch that clip in order to better discuss it with others. We each know what is right for us, what we can safely take in. Great thought provoking post.

  2. Kelly Miller says:

    My problem with all the constant… don’t see this movie posts… is that I desperately want to see it even though I know it’s wrong so all the posts are just reminding me of my desire to see it. I read the books as a Christian but a very new Christian who didn’t see the problem with it. Now I know better but the topic is still a huge problem for me.


  1. […] to remember that when you’re struggling you need to go to God.  Not for an answer but because God is not Google. Go to Him because He is the answer and in Him you can find […]

Speak Your Mind