“We’ll be line forever right mommy?” He said tugging on his mom’s pant leg. He was probably four, maybe five years old.

I chucked to myself as she shushed him and said “No, not too long.”

This little lesson comes courtesy of a very long checkout line at Aldi.

A Lesson Demonstrated

Through my witness of this seemingly insignificant exchange between mother and child the Lord reminded me just how much my words and actions impact my son and how he will see his world and interact with it.

The idea that we influence our children isn’t new; I’m sure you’ve heard it before.

Our children will emulate what they see and hear from the adults in their lives, especially their parents.

When the guy in the car ahead of me is doing 30 in a 45 and I say “Come on buddy, gas pedal is on the right.” In a condescending manner  Is that something I want my son to say some day?  Sure, me he might say it one day but do I want it to be because he got the example from me?

Positive Influence

I had another example of this valuable lesson a few days later in my kitchen.

As I do every few days I was running the vacuum, sweeper as we call it around here.  Little man was playing with the attachments and I could not figure out what he was doing with them.

I watched him a bit more closely and realized that he was imitating me when I run the sweeper by using the attachment to “clean” around the edges and beneath the counters.  He proceeded to the living room where he did the same thing under the television.

At eighteen months he saw what I did and was doing the same. It is amazing and honoring. And truthfully a bit scary.  The thought that seemingly insignificant tasks are examples for him to follow is daunting.

If left to myself I’m a mess, I’m pessimistic, judgmental, grumpy and a bit on the selfish side.  I don’t want my son to be like that.

My Example, His Example

There is hope.  If I focus daily on the Lord, lean on Him for strength and look to Him as my example there is hope that I can be a better example for my son.

“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” ~ Proverbs 3:5

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. “ ~ Ephesians 4:22-24

Daily I must renew my mind and spend time with the Lord.

I must also keep godly company.

I must read godly books, magazines and blogs; things that are encouraging to me as a mother.

Ultimately I must take my example from the life of Jesus. I must be as a little child with Jesus; watching Him and learning from Him.

As He is my example and I exude more of Christ in my life I will naturally become a better example to my son and everyone else around me.

Do your children imitate you or your spouse? If so how?

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

The post Mirroring Mom & Dad appeared first on More Than Four Walls.

I love to be in the kitchen so making meals from scratch is not a daunting task for me. There are times however that I wish I could just pull something out of the freezer and not think about cooking. Having make ahead breakfast foods available that aren’t from a box can be done even for the working mom.

I have found a few things that I can make in batches and freeze so that I can have a “fast food” meal that is still nutritious.

These options are also great for baby sitters.  My mother in law probably wouldn’t whip up a smoothie on her own accord but if I have it prepped and ready she’ll complete it for Wyatt’s breakfast.

English Muffins

I won’t reinvent the wheel.  You can read here how to make them.  They freeze very nicely. I pull one out of the freezer in the mornings to pack for my breakfast and by the time I’m ready to toast it at work it’s thawed.

At home they take about 30 minutes to thaw on the counter.

Pancakes

When I make pancakes on a Saturday morning I try to make extra for freezing.  Stored in a container or baggie with wax paper between them you can have a quick meal in no time.

Thaw them on the counter for ten or fifteen minutes. Toast them or put them in greased pan for a few minutes to warm them up.

You can find my easy make  ahead dry mix for pancakes here.

French Toast

Here’s another easy breakfast make ahead that you can make in batches.  If you’re already serving them Sunday morning why not make an extra loaf and freeze them?

When I make them for freezing I let them get just slightly done but not as firm/crisp as I like them for eating.  This way when you thaw them you can toast them up on your griddle or pan with some butter and they will be perfect!

Bacon

For the normal person I’ll say this: Make a pound of bacon, use what you need and save the rest. Allow it to cool and freeze between wax paper.  When you’re ready to use, allow the bacon to thaw and fry it back up in a pan until it reaches desired crispiness.

For the bacon lovers I’ll say this: Make the whole pound. Eat the whole pound, make a second pound, try not to eat it and follow the steps above.

Seriously.  If you make a whole pound and you want to reserve some do it slightly less then your desired crispiness.  When you’re ready to reheat put in your pan, toaster oven or even microwave and cook until it’s just the way you like it.

You can fry it or even better, bake it!

Smoothie Base

If you’re a smoothie fan you can prep your smoothie base the night before and pop the blender canister in the refrigerator.  I add my milk, yogurt, vanilla and fax oil together before I go to bed. Then in the morning all I need to do is add my fruit, honey and ice. This is great if you’re on the go for work, church or the home school co-op.

Actually, you can add fresh peaches and berries the night before too but bananas tend to get too mushy for my liking and I find peanut butter and coconut oil get too hard for blending. This could just be because my blender is as old as I am. (Seriously, it was my grandmother’s blender and she gave it to me when I got my first house.)

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Weekend Whatever

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Today is installment two off a multi-post series on the misconceptions of women.  Everywhere we look we see women in roles or seasons of life that get stereotypically categorized as this or that. Perhaps you are one of these women or perhaps you have never stopped to understand these women.  This series is meant to expel some of those stereotypes and give you a different perspective of women who sometimes get a blanket judgement. 

Last week we looked at the private life of a pastor’s wife. Today we’re taking a peek into the life of a homeschooling mama as Kristen shares her thoughts and her own past judgments of homeschooling moms and families.

Have you met the typical homeschool mom?

You know, the one who has far more children than the average 2-child family does, all of whom are fluent in three languages, have won multiple spelling and Bible bees, and preform as a small orchestra at local senior centers?

Wait, maybe that’s not her.

Maybe she’s the one that is up every morning at 5am so that she can grind the day’s multigrain flour and have a homemade and nutritiously sound breakfast on the table when her children enter the spotless dining room at precisely 7am, all dressed with neatly combed hair and smiling faces?

Perhaps I have her confused with someone else.

She must be the one that stays in her pajamas and robe until the afternoon, along with her disheveled crew. They kind of get around to a little bit of work after the morning’s cartoons are done and after everyone has had their fourth bowl of Fruit Loops.

No, wait.

The typical homeschooling mom is actually the one who has a high and mighty air about her when she’s with other moms who have chosen to use the public school system or have their children in a private school. She may not say things out loud, but everyone knows she’s thinking less of them.

Actually, the typical homeschool mom oozes with patience, love, and immense educational understanding. She’s like the perfect preschool teacher combined with the most brilliant university professor, and nothing that her children do or say could ever stump or exasperate her.

Or is she? What exactly makes a typical homeschool mom?

Any, all, or none of that might make a homeschooling mom, and there’s clearly no perfect or typical combination. If you know one homeschooling mom, chances are, the next one you meet will be very different. The mom that has a schoolroom set up in her home, complete with desks and a chalkboard, is probably quite opposite from the unschooling mom that chooses to provide her children with an unstructured learning environment. Just like there is a wide variety of moms in general, there is a wide variety of homeschooling moms in particular.

Though I am a homeschooling mom, I’ve been guilty of stereotyping homeschooling families. I saw a homeschooling game day event on our local library’s calendar, so I went with our children. I walked past the room that I thought it was in, but when I saw the family in there, I thought “That must not be it.” I double-checked, and in fact, it was. The family used a very different style of homeschooling and parenting than our family does, and because they looked different, I assumed they must not be home educators. I forgot that families choose to homeschool for many different reasons, and there are many varied approaches to teaching them. I was caught in the “typical homeschool mom” mindset, and I was wrong.

So who is the typical homeschooling mom?

She is a real woman, like any other mom. She gets tired. She gets frustrated. She doesn’t know all of the answers, and she asks a lot of questions. She doubts herself and her abilities, but for one reason or another, she feels committed to educating her children at home. She might be a Suzy homemaker, a crunchy granola-baker, an outdoors trail-walker, or a library book-stalker.

I am a typical homeschooling mom. I don’t wear a cape, and I can guarantee you that I don’t have any super-mom powers. I want our children to get a superior, Christ-centered education through our homeschool, but I don’t expect to be able to do it all myself. I will need help. I’ll hit dead ends. I’ll make mistakes. I’ll be impatient. Just like all of the other typical homeschooling moms.

We’re really pretty normal people.

Have you had a wrong idea of what a home schooling mom does? What changed your mind?

Kristen is a homeschooling mama who enjoys whole foods and living naturally.  She blogs at Smithspirations.

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Heavenly Homemakers

Weekend Whatever

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I haven’t fried a pound of bacon in years.

Those of you who know of my love of all things bacon may find that strange.

It’s not that I don’t make bacon, I just don’t fry it anymore. You see I love bacon but the lingering smell of grease for days on end in the kitchen I do not love.  Nor do I love cleaning up grease.

So what do I do?

I bake bacon.

It’s pretty simple.

How to Bake Bacon

Oven to 425 or 450. For me this depends on the oven (the camper vs the house) and how long I have to wait.

Lay your bacon out in any pan with sides. You need sides to keep grease from getting all over the oven…unless you like to clean your oven.  I use my Pampered Chef bar pan.

Put the pan in the oven.

Bake.

Check bacon after 15 minutes for crispiness and remove when it has reached your idea of perfection.

If Brad is home I pull out a few pieces of no-so-crispy bacon for him and leave the rest in for Wyatt and I.

Clean up is easy too.  I let the pan cool so the grease hardens and then scrap it with a spoon.

The other great thing about baking bacon is that you don’t have to stand over the pan watching it.  You can work on making your French toast or change a diaper with little concern that it will get done too fast and burn.

Have you ever baked bacon?

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The Gathering Spot

Time Warp Wife

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Sometimes I find myself overrun with raw milk.

So what’s a girl to do with so much extra milk? What else – make stuff!

Here’s a few of the things we made with our extra milk:

Homemade Vanilla Pudding

Sarah from the Healthy Home Economist has a great video tutorial on making pudding.  I changed up her recipe slightly by using a ¼ cup of SUCANAT, a heaping tablespoon of honey and 4 drops of liquid stevia  in place of the ¾ to ½ cup of SUCANAT.  I’m not a huge fan of the SUCANAT flavor in my pudding.

Homemade Yogurt

We love homemade yogurt..well, Wyatt and I do anyway.  It is a great way to use up and raw milk since your yogurt will have a longer shelf life than the milk.

Read here  for some ways to make homemade yogurt.

Homemade Ice Cream

Our recipe is a hand me down from my husband’s family.  It’s not healthy except for the raw milk.  I’ve tried to change the ingredients and I’ve tried new “healthier” recipes but nothing satisfies my husband like homemade ice cream made with sweeten-condensed milk and white sugar.

You win some, you lose some.

If you need a good recipe or two or three for ice cream I recommend Just Making Ice Cream.

Orange Creamsicles

Who doesn’t love a good orange creamsicle?!  Problem is most of the ones at the store don’t have real orange and probably not even real cream. Yack!

Clabber it

Have you ever heard of clabbering milk?

It’s about as easy as forgetting to take wash off the line before it rains.  You just let it out there.  Of course you don’t leave the milk in the rain, you just leave it sit on your kitchen counter. In a few days it will thicken and get clumpy.  That is clabbered milk! Once it’s clabbered stick it in the refrigerator.

It was pretty tasty in the smoothies.

Here’s Little Man enjoying a clabbered milk smoothie. (As you can see this was before we brushed our hair..and pre-fire too!)

Make Milk Kefir

I have never done this but it is an option.  I have some water kefir grains that I’m trying to figure out.

Bonus: just drink more milk! Increasing your raw milk intake is a good thing.

 What would you do if you found yourself with extra raw milk? Would you try one of these or do something different?

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed

**note – all of these, except clabbering, would work with store-bought milk as well.

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Cornerstone Confessions

The post 6 Uses for Raw Milk appeared first on More Than Four Walls.

Today we’re starting off a multi-post series on the misconceptions of women.  Everywhere we look we see women in roles or seasons of life that get stereotypically categorized as this or that. Perhaps you are one of these women or perhaps you have never stopped to understand these women.  This series is meant to expel some of those stereotypes and give you a different perspective of women who sometimes get a blanket judgement. 

We’re beginning with the pastor’s wife this week.  My dear friend Linda is sharing about own misconceptions of a pastor’s wife and her real life as such.

I’m not sure what your ideas are of a pastor’s wife, so I will not assume they are the same as mine were. Therefore I will share with you the ideas I had about what being a pastor’s wife was all about.

I grew up in church. My family faithfully attended every week. Because the denomination I grew up in felt it necessary to change pastors every few years, I had quite a few opportunities to watch various pastors and their families interact with my family and the church as a whole.

After I went to college, I made the choice to attend a different church (and denomination). I was introduced to the senior pastor, the associate pastor, their wives and families.  These families were faithful… they were in church each time the door was open, seemed to always have a smile on their faces, and seemed to love the Lord in abundance.

I met my husband at this church and after we were married a few years, he got “the call” to go into the ministry. My response was quite shocking to me… I HATED the idea. Why? I DID NOT WANT TO BE A PASTOR’S WIFE!!! 

Why had I developed such a fear of being a pastor’s wife? Why did this “title” cause me to wake up in the middle of the nights with a cold sweat? Why had I not considered it to be a wonderful calling, rather than somewhat of a curse? WHY?

I admit, I was quite surprised by my reaction to this opportunity.

After months of praying about it… I realized that I had unknowingly made some assumptions of what being a pastor’s wife required. Before I share with you my list, let me make it very clear… this was my “opinion” and as I have learned since that time, my opinion, although may have seemed accurate in some ways, was wrong in so many others.

The truth was… I was afraid.

I feared my husband going into the ministry and myself being given the title of “pastor’s wife” because every single pastor’s wife that I had met seemed “’perfect”. They seemed to me to have it all together spiritually. I envisioned them getting up singing the halleluiah chorus each morning… grabbing their bible and coffee amidst a perfectly clean home for their morning devotions. I imagined them looking at their husbands with adoring eyes no matter what he did on any given day. I imagined that she could quote any scripture asked of her with reference and commentary complete…. I imagined perfection.

I imagined “The Martha Stewart” of Christianity. Every day was filled with purpose and meaning… and smiles and laughter… perfect meals, perfectly balanced budgets, perfect prayer times… a perfect singing voice and ability to play any given instrument…a perfect hostess with a perfect house. (Did you ever watch Seventh Heaven??) A life filled to overflowing with joy and happiness and peace…  A life, so very unlike my own…

I also saw (in my circle) that pastor’s wives were a little bit out of reach. I imagined that they had a whole group of friends who were also on a another level…(An elite group who didn’t bother to associate with regular church folk.) friends that they could talk with and share their life with… because none of the pastor’s wives I had met seemed very interested in being “friends” with the congregation. Although they did offer advice and support… they never seemed to share any struggles they were dealing with… I assumed they didn’t have any.

And  then the deep dark honest truth came out one day… the only area I felt was not perfect, in the life of the pastor and his wife were their children… most I had witnessed were unruly, overly mischievous… and to be honest… well… sort of just plain old brats! You know the saying, “Those pastor’s kids are the biggest brats in the church.”

That was NOT what I had ever wanted…

I DID NOT WANT TO BE A PASTOR’S WIFE!!!

Prayer and Surrender

After much praying, and seeking the Lord, I eventually realized that my husband and I were both called to the ministry. I finally surrendered my will (and fear) when the Lord spoke to me in a very loving, gentle voice after I had named once again, all of the reason I did not want the title that He seemed to be offering me… He said, “All I ask is for you to be yourself… I will take it from there.”

So, I didn’t need to play the piano and lead the choir?

I didn’t need to act like I had it all together every single day?

I didn’t need to be “stand-offish” to the congregation?

This call didn’t automatically require my children to be disobedient and mischievous?

My husband could still upset me when he forgot to throw his socks in the laundry basket?

It would be okay if I didn’t wake up singing hymns? And I could forget where Bible verses were located?

I didn’t have to be “perfect”???

No… perfection was not what the Lord was asking of me… He was asking for me to say yes to His call…. And to simply be me… His daughter… A member of His precious Bride.

He showed me that the main responsibility that He was asking of me was to be “real” and honest to those around me, to love unconditionally, to serve my husband and my family and those that He would lead to our congregation.  Slowly, and prayerfully, I thought that I would be able to say yes to what He was asking.

After four years of Bible School, my husband and I were offered a congregation in the same town we had lived prior to leaving for school. We have remained at this congregation for the past 16 years.  I have learned a lot about people… especially about pastor’s wives… Let me share with you what I have learned.

The Mask of Perfection

Pastor’s wives are not perfect!! (Surprise, Surprise!)… But the majority of pastor’s wives are so afraid of being criticized for their limitations that they put on the facade of perfectionism. I have shed more tears over this issue than all other combined since I’ve said “yes” to the call.

Being judged, criticized, and complained about by those that you serve day in and day out is very difficult. It has been the biggest surprise to me… I never knew that Christians could be so hurtful…There is nothing more painful as pouring your lives out to someone only to have them leave your church with no explanation… or worse yet, with words that are half-truths… and gossiping to make you look like the devil himself. I also understood in a real way, why so many pastor’s wives appear so perfect… they try so hard to appear this way because they fear so much the words of criticism.

I fight very hard not to put up a “perfectionist” veneer. My motto is this: I will be judged either way… so I might as well just be real.

The surprise for me has come (after years of fighting this battle of being “real” to those you serve) is that in time, those that I serve have also stopped wearing masks of perfection. They have understood the truth that “intimacy” means… into me you see… if we really wish to be the church united as Christ calls us to be… each one of us needs to be real… the good… the bad… the ugly… Redemption and grace are more beautiful when we can share honestly from what we’ve been saved from.

Pastor’s wives have just as many needs as you do, but are afraid to share them for fear that you will judge her. She oftentimes refrains from sharing prayer requests for fear that she will be misunderstood…  She most likely doesn’t have a “higher group of friends”… most pastors’ wives are very lonely. Loneliness is a huge misunderstood issue in the life of pastors. Being surrounded by your flock who calls you anytime day or night does not equal friendship. Friendships are a two way street… give and take.

I recall one day I was attending a home party along with some other friends (outside of the church.) When I was asked to introduce myself, I shared my name, where I lived and how I knew the hostess. Then, the hostess told everyone in the room that I was “Pastor Dan’s wife.” I heard the “Ahhh’s” and then the one girl commented to everyone, “Well, ladies, let’s make sure we keep our jokes clean today.” Everyone laughed… but once again, I felt an unspoken barrier come between me and the others. No one else was introduced by what their husband’s occupation was… “Hi, this is Cindy… her husband is the banker… or the lawyer, or the ditch digger.” Why is it that I am constantly being identified with what my husband does for living? Many pastor’s wives have built walls of protection around themselves due to the isolation they feel or the pain they have received from others… and a fortress in a lonely place.

Pastor’s children act out oftentimes because their parents are so busy with everyone else’s lives, they are oftentimes unknowingly neglected. They are also expected to be perfect… Kids are kids… they only need loved and affirmed.

I made it a priority throughout the years to ask my children how they are doing “being a PK” (Pastor’s Kid). We have had many open and honest conversations about words people have spoken over them, and the truth of what the Lord says about them. For example, one day when my children were small, they came home from church and my one daughter seemed a little down. I asked her what was bothering her. She said, “My Sunday School teacher yelled at me in front of the class today.” I asked her why. My daughter said that she had forgotten her bible and the teacher said “What? The pastor’s daughter forgot her bible??”

I told my daughter that just because her daddy was the pastor did not mean she had to be perfect, and that although we should try to remember our bibles, the Lord loves us even when we forget. I also led her in a prayer to forgive the teacher for embarrassing her, and to ask Jesus to help the teacher to understand this simple truth… PK’s are just children whose dad’s said yes to Jesus to teach his word… nothing more or nothing less.

Because I have actively done this with our girls, I believe they have weathered this role (that they did not choose) very well. We have also given them the freedom to speak into our lives… and most recently they told us that they felt that we were not spending enough time with them due to the duties of the church. It’s a tough balance, but with the Lord, it is all possible.

What You Can Do To Help

So, I assume you know a pastor’s wife… my best advice to you is to love her… treat her you would any other sister in Christ. Allow her to make mistakes. Don’t talk about her behind her back (or anyone, for that matter.)

Let her have a bad day. Understand when her children act out, and don’t tell them or anyone else that they are a disappointment. Understand that she is human, needs a day off once a week… And most of all, pray for her.

The demands placed on her and her husband can seem tremendous… allow them to be your pastors.. Not your Savior.

Jesus is the only one designed for that… and He does it perfectly!!

Linda has a passion to see other’s set free to live their lives honestly and holy. She encourages others through her writing and speaking to do the same. Linda and her husband Dan reside in Pennsylvania and have pastored Open Arms Christian Fellowship for 15 years. They are  the parents of four daugthers and one son-in-law. Linda is available to speak at your congregation or retreat. Visit her blog at LIFT or her facebook page.

 Shared:

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Heavenly Homemakers                              Raising Homemakers

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The post Misconceptions Of: The Pastor’s Wife appeared first on More Than Four Walls.

Maybe you’ve been there.  Standing in the sanctuary during worship and the gal two rows up is so moved by the Spirit that she’s weeping uncontrollably. Meanwhile behind you the local T-ball coach is shouting off key at the top of his lungs so passionately that the off key part really doesn’t matter.  He is worshiping his creator.  But you, not so much.  You are fulfilled after worship, you know you’ve entered into the secret place and spent time with Christ but you are so awed by His presence that you can barely move.

What is wrong with you?  Why don’t you shout and sing and weep?  You aren’t doing it right?

I struggled with similar such thoughts for many years.Then I realized Christianity is not a one-size-fits-all religion.

It’s not a religion at all, but we’ll get back to that in a moment.

If you are being led by the Holy Spirit there is no right or wrong way to worship the Lord.

Sunday, for the first time that I can recall I felt to dance around the sanctuary during one of the worship songs.  I realized that I was not the only one moved to dance.  A few other ladies, some who are moved to dancing often, and some not, were also freely worshiping the Lord. I danced not because others were dancing but because I felt in my spirit to dance.  The song was about having joy, and while I wasn’t feeling particularly joyful Sunday morning my spirit wanted to dance. So dance I did.

Many Bodies, One Spirit

Maybe you’re caught off guard by the title of this post, forgive me for the catchy title though I will say, it came to me in the wee hours of the morning while changing a fussy toddler who peed through his diaper and was quite upset at being laid on the cold floor to be stripped naked and wiped down with a cold baby wipe.  ”Customizable Christianity” was not something I was pondering at 3:30.  This is how I know it was from God.

We all read the same bible, albeit different versions, so how can I make a statement like “customizable Christianity”? Because God is a god of the individual.  What an amazing paradox that we are ALL created in His image yet no two of  us are alike!  We are different from our DNA to our eye color to what moves us to worship and speaks to us spiritually.

Just as you may despise the taste of coffee and I burn candles that smell of mocha we are also different in our spirits.

Couldn’t that be dangerous? Isn’t that why churches have divided? Aren’t we called to unity?

Yes it could be dangerous, yes this differences probably have lead and will lead to the separation of countless churches.  Yes, we are most definitely called to unity.

But the amazing part, the saving grace in the paradox of different yet the same is the same Holy Spirit that lives in each one of us. We are individuals but the the same Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, resides deep within us.  It is when we tap into that spirit, when we listen to it, learn from it and are led by it that we are able to be individuals, expressing our individuality and yet be in unity.

It’s how a member of our congregation can get a word from God during worship, share that word and then our pastor preach a sermon that is in essence the same thing spoken by during worship.  It’s how a member of our body can stand publicly in front of all and say “I’m struggling. I don’t see God, I don’t feel God…Where is God!?” and be loved on, ministered to and prayed to by his brothers and sisters in Christ. His spirit was struggling, but the Holy Spirit in him prompted him to take a huge step of faith and speak out.  Our spirits maybe couldn’t wait to hear the pastor’s message that day or perhaps we were preoccupied with the troubles in our own lives, but the Holy Spirit in us led us to speak into our brother’s life and offer up healing for him.

Many bodies, one Spirit.

My Gifts, Your Gifts

“Brothers and sisters, I want you to know about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. You know that at one time you were  unbelievers. You were somehow drawn away to worship statues of gods that couldn’t even speak. So I tell you that no one who is speaking with the help of God’s Spirit says, “May Jesus be cursed.” And without the help of the Holy Spirit no one can say, “Jesus is Lord.” 

There are different kinds of gifts. But they are all given by the same Spirit. There are different ways to serve. But they all come from the same Lord. There are different ways to work. But the same God makes it possible for all of us to have all those different things.

The Holy Spirit is given to each of us in a special way. That is for the good of all.  To some people the Spirit gives the message of wisdom. To others the same Spirit gives the message of knowledge. To others the same Spirit gives faith. To others that one Spirit gives gifts of healing. To others he gives the power to do miracles. To others he gives the ability to prophesy. To others he gives the ability to tell the spirits apart. To others he gives the ability to speak in different kinds of languages they had not known before. And to still others he gives the ability to explain what was said in those languages. All of the gifts are produced by one and the same Spirit. He gives them to each person, just as he decides.” ~ 1 Corinthians 12: 1-11 (emphasis mine)

In the passage above we see clearly the gifts we as believers can expect to receive and that these gifts come from one Spirit, God’s spirit, the Holy Spirit. We each have access to these gifts but that does not mean they will be made known to us, or others in the same way.

I recently realized that I hear from the Lord at what I’d call “odd” times (like 3:30 cleaning up toddler pee.) In the past I have been prompted to to mail cards of encouragement to people.  Silently blessing them, sometimes anonymously, to brighten their day and give them a word of encouragement.  You may never feel let to mail a card, you may however see visions on a daily basis as the Lord directs your day. It doesn’t matter what our normal is so long as our normal is led by the Holy Spirit.

Relationship Not Religion

I said I’d get back this point and I don’t want to let you down.  We get hung up on this thing called “religion” when in reality our walk with Jesus Christ is not about a religion, a set of rules, the length of our skirts or the time we spend in the prayer closet.

Our walk with Jesus Christ is about a relationship with Him. A two-way, face to face, get to know you relationship with our brother who died on a cross to save us.  He wants to have coffee with you every morning, He wants to join you on your smoke break (and take that addiction from you too) and He wants to rock you to sleep in His arms when you can’t take another moment of mothering because you feel like a failure.

That is what you should be living for. Not checking off a box on your To Do list of “read Bible.” Oh yes, reading your Bible is important, it’s how we learn about the God we serve. Having it on your To Do list might be essential to keep you on track (it is for me sometimes) but when we want to know what He wants from us we should ask Him, face to face.

The next time you feel like you don’t measure up to the gal in the next pew, stop it! Your relationship with Christ is customized for YOU by Him just as you were customized in your mother’s womb by Him.

So tell me, what makes your walk with Christ customized?

The post Customizable Christianity: Not a One Size Fits All Thing appeared first on More Than Four Walls.

I have been tossing around the idea of wearing skirts for some time now.  I’ve been (trying) to study out scripture related to the philosophy of why many Christian women exclusively wear skirts……. But why be a skirt wearing Christian?

My hesitation is an issue of the heart.  Do I want to wear skirts because the Lord is speaking to me about it or do I want to do it because it somehow presents me in a light that I am “more Christian” or “more feminine” than others?  Am I doing it because the buzz on various blogs I read and love is that skirt-wearing is the way to go as good Christian woman?

Attaining an Image

In my mind sometimes, when I see a women wearing a modest skirt and looking very feminine I think how gentle and kind she must be. She must be a good housewife, willfully submitting to her husband and backing cookies every Thursday for the kids after she home schools them. Her life must be simple and drama free. I mean she must be perfect, right?

In this process the Lord has shown me that for a long time, more years than I can count, I have had this vision of skirt-wearing women. I liken them to Caroline from Little House on the Prairie and the life played out on television. There has been a draw in me toward that era in time, when life was simple, chivalry wasn’t dead and women (and men) had defined clear-cut roles.

But the Lord has asked me to ask myself the hard questions.  Do I think skirt wearing will change my life? Do I think skirt-wearing will change my heart and make me a better Christian?

Changing My Life

Could skirt wearing change my life?  I more see it as skirt wearing is a change in my life.  An outward expression of the unique femininity that I have created by God.  In a world where the gender lines seem to be blurring more and more every day skirt wearing, for me, is a celebration of being feminine that the world can see.

Skirt wearing is not going to magically throw me into a blissful land of homeschooling and cookie baking.  Only the Lord can workout the details of my life and fulfill my desire to be a stay at home mom.

A Heart Change

This past week I went to the bank for work.  I was making multiple deposits so it required a trip inside the lobby.  Waiting in line I spotted a young lady, probably my age in a cute denim skirt with a button up sweater and a cute pair of sandals.  As I mentioned above you can guess what I thought about her.  I smiled inside and thought “If I could coordinate and outfit like that at least I’d look better when I wore skirts!”

The Lord arranged for her stay at the window to be long and my place in line to lad at the teller next to her.  As the money for my deposit was being counted I over heard her say a few things that did not sound very loving, meek, kind or Christian.

Immediately I hear the Lord say, “Wearing as skirt does not make you a better Christian.”

He is so right.

Being a Christian has less to do with our outward appearance and more to do with the attitude of our hearts.

For out of the heart the mouth speaks.

“…..for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 1234b

God is doing great things in my life and slowly working on my attitude, my thoughts and my emotions.

Don’t misunderstand me here.  None of us is ever going to be perfect.  We will loose our patience (no matter what you read online) we will have to continue to pray that the Lord keeps our hearts pure. My point is that those things draw us closer to being like Jesus.

I pass no judgment on the woman at the bank.  I have no idea where she’ll spend eternity or where her heart lies.  Perhaps she is a beautiful Christian woman who momentarily fell into the trap of gossip and judgment (haven’t we all?)

God put her there to speak to me.

To remind me that He ultimately wants my heart to be right and pure before him.

Skirt wearing is not going to change my heart.  It is not going to help me learn to submit to my husband and allow him to take role as head of our home.  It is not going to make me more patient or a better mom.  Putting on a skirt will not make me (or you) be less judgmental or less apt to gossip about a neighbor.

 How Proud We Are

We must be careful that putting on a skirt does not give us a false sense of pride.  If we choose to wear skirts we are not somehow better than those women who don’t wear skirts.

At least not in the Lord’s eyes.

“And the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God’s laws.” James 2:10 (NLT)

We see in James that no matter if it’s murder, gossip, immodest dress or judgment we are just as guilty in God’s eyes. Thank you Lord for sending  you son to pay the price for all of our sins!

As I mentioned earlier I have always felt a pull toward women in skirts and the “Little House” way of life. Yet I can see myself easily slipping into pride in this area? How about you?

Have you ever thought more highly of yourself for you modest attire over someone else’s less than appealing wardrobe?

“If anyone things he is something when his is nothing, he deceives himself.  Eash one should test his own actions.  Then he can take priced in himself without comparing himself t somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Galatians 5:12

If we are proud of who we have become in Jesus Christ and what we have learned through Him that is awesome. We cannot find that pride in comparing ourselves to others.

I don’t have all the answers on skirt wearing. I’m studying out scripture, praying and asking the Lord to reveal truth to me on this topic. I write this not as an expert on the topic but as a gal searching out answers and maybe letting another women struggling with the same issue see that she’s not alone in her questions and that her questions are not wrong.

Do you wear skirts, why or why not? What has the Lord spoken to you about this issue?

Shared:

Growing Home

The post “Wearing A Skirt Does Not Make You A Better Christian” appeared first on More Than Four Walls.

As women we are all managers of our homes.

It doesn’t matter if you work full time like I do, if your single, a homeschooling mom, a large family mom or an empty nester you are still called to manage your home.

It took awhile for me to realize that even working outside the inside of the home was still my domain to manage.  Others, like Libby of A Noble Calling know at young age that we’re called to be a helpmeet and home manager.  So when I realized I needed to get a grip on managing our home (which was part of the revelation of the calling on my life when I got pregnant).  I wasn’t sure where to turn, what to do and how it should all look.

The Look of Home Management

I’ve tried several different ways of managing my home.  I tried my mom’s way, my sister in law’s way, my friends’ ways, and other bloggers’s ways.  None of them worked.

I read blogs and books and struggled to fit in (with what I wasn’t sure because it’s not like other bloggers even knew I existed let alone how I ran my home!)

Finally I realized I had to do things God’s way. Surely many of the bloggers I’d read were doing things God’s way too but there’s a catch.  Let me share my secret with you……

Don’t do it God’s way for your her, do it God’s way for you!

In each season of life home management takes on different meanings and even if we’re in the same stage, it will undoubtedly look different from my home to yours.  I’ve always struggled with a need to fit in, to be accepted and to part of the group.

He’s so stripping me of that all around.

Help with a Grain of Salt

We are so blessed by the resources and information available to us today.  No matter if you’re the ultimate fruglista, a minimalist, a hard core organizer or a laid back roll with the punches kinda gal you can find information and inspiration on the web.

But all of this help can be overwhelming and make you a bit disillusioned.  Remember always that your focus is to be on His plan for your life.  Every good idea should be prayerfully considered.  That doesn’t mean you have to spend 2 hours locked in a closet praying over making yogurt in a crock pot or in a cooler.  What I mean is that you should ask the Lord to show you what ideas are a good fit for your home and what might not be.  This may even mean you try something and realize that it isn’t going to work for you because it doesn’t sit right with you or work well with your family.

Reading about my life or another blogger’s life isn’t a meant to be a baseline against which you deem yourself worthy.  It should be a a vehicle through which you gain Godly insight and encouragement.

The same goes for books.  Reading a “how to clean you house” kinda book doesn’t mean you must do everything in the book or your a failure and you’ll never measure up.  Chew up the meat and spit out the bones as my Pastor says.  Take what’s valuable and useful to you and move on.

I have read blogs and ebooks that have basically said if you don’t do everything you see here you’re unfit.  Mostly this is in the hard-core real food circles but you get my point.  I prefer to live much more by His grace, learning as I go.

Recommended Resources

That said, I want to share with you my thoughts on some good resources.  These resources are all available individually or as part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle Library.

Tell Your Time ~ How to manage your schedule so you can live free is a wonderful book about time management.  Amy talks about making schedules that work for you and creating envelopes of time.

More than making a schedule the book walks you through determining what your purpose is right now in life (mother, wife, employee, student, etc) and asks you questions to help you realize what goals you have and how you can reach them by managing your time well.

Not a DIY Diva – The first chapter’s tag line is “A bad case of Magazine-Cover-itis…”  Yeah, that was me.  I wanted to have everyone else’s home.  My mom’s, my girlfriend’s, Country Living’s and then along came Pintrest.  I was never content, never happy and therefore didn’t really put my heart and soul into my home.  Certainly I cleaned, a little too often if you ask my friends but I was cleaning for the wrong reasons.  I was cleaning to appeal to them and other guests but not for God.

I finally accepted that my house was my house, the good and the bad.  I didn’t neatly arranged groupings of antique blue glass bottles I bought at a flea market tied with ribbon I made from left over twine.  I didn’t have a cozy fire place in my den with seasonal garland drapped over it. No I had 4 deer heads, a turkey, 3 fish and elk staring me in the face.  I had glass bottles alright, the amber ones filled with beer. (Thankfully they are gone, praise God.)

In her book, Melissa talks about living an authentic life.  Or as I like to say, keepin’ it real.  She talks about how contentment and authentic living go hand in hand.  If you’ve got magazine-cover-itis this books is a must have.

List Planit- I’m a lover of lists.  I use them for packing, planning, blogging, work, the garden, the house fire, you name it I will make a list for it.  I’ve been asked why I subscribe to List Planit when I actually enjoy making lists…why not just use Excel?

My answer? I’m too busy to create and edit and print and change and print again.  I just need lists.  Besides, sometimes for things like the blog I don’t necessarily know what I need in detail so a well thought out list helps.

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