Restoring the Lost Petal

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The Love Dare: 40 Days of Rejection, Could You Handle It?

I don’t often write about marriage.  I can blog about real food and my lack of perfection, I can write about bible study or managing your finances but marriage is a hard topic for me.  This is the one area I struggle to remember that I don’t have to be perfect to encourage you, the reader.

love dare

My marriage isn’t perfect.

Some days it is good, other days not so much.  And some days, to be honest, I could scream.

I love my husband, I try to honor and respect him but there are days when his actions, or lack thereof make it hard.  To say he isn’t a big talker is an understatement when it comes to relationship communication.  I often joke that we have the same conversation every day when he gets home from work.

“Hi, how was your day?”
“Oh, not too bad.”

Same. Answer.Every.Night. For the last 10 years.

It gets old, I long for more. I long for relational conversation about more than what color we should paint the bedroom or what we’re getting Wyatt for Christmas.  I don’t want, or need, long sonnets about his undying devotion to me or endless romantic kisses every morning before he goes to work. Heck, I’d settle for him asking me how my day was with a little butt squeeze from time to time.

I don’t want to dwell on what isn’t, that’s not what this post is about.

Are You Willing

“For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars.” ~ 2 Chronicles 16:9

While this scripture isn’t directly talking about marriage, it sure is fitting for me right now, and maybe you too.  The Lord has been impressing upon me the need for me to be totally obedient to Him, even though in the area of marriage I really don’t feel like it.

I don’t feel like it because I don’t want my actions and words to fall on deaf ears.  I don’t want them to be rejected, yet again.  So I am hesitant to step out and try again.

But like our pastor said just the other week, when we draw a line in the sand and say “That’s it, I can’t take it any more,” the breakthrough you are waiting for might be just 50 yards ahead.

Perseverance is the steady persistence of heading in the right direction even when you’re facing adversity.

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Take The Dare

The day before our pastor preached this sermon the Lord told me to start The Love Dare, again. I tried once before when the book first released but gave up after five or six days. He clearly told me to do it again, this time with my whole heart and full commitment.

I can’t shake the thought. I know I must do it.

But yet again, I am left with the feeling that rejection lurks around the corner and at the end of 40 days. So the Lord says, “Could you risk being rejected 40 days in a row, leaving it all up to Me and knowing not the outcome before you begin.”

This is where the rubber meets the road.  I’m struggling to begin though I know I must.

So I’ve dusted off the book and I’ve started praying.  I admit, I am reluctant and I don’t know when I’ll start…but soon I will, with His help.  And no matter what the earthly outcome I now I will persevere and I will be strong for the process if nothing else.

Whether it’s marriage, finances, raising children, or job issues what is the Lord asking you to do? Could you risk being rejected, leaving it all up to God knowing not the outcome before you begin?

 

Update: There has been some interest in having a group Dare where we read through the book and encourage one another together.  If you’re interested please comment.  Also, subscribe to email update to be notified of the event which will begin in early 2014.  

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Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing this! At times I have also felt that I shouldn’t even try certain things because I wonder if my husband really cares. I wish we would talk or do things together more often but I am realizing that I can’t quit trying. I don’t want to be a nag about it, but I also don’t want to give up all together. Last week, he asked if I wanted to play a game with him. This is one thing I would like to do more often but I don’t ask much because I’m afraid it annoys him, so I was shocked when he asked me. Then he did it again a few days later! We’ve had game nights three times in the past couple of weeks! I know my love language is quality time, so this simple thing has already made me feel closer to him. 🙂

    • I’m considering a Love Dare Challenge for us to ladies to do this together so we can support and pray for one another. I’d love for you to join us!

  2. Oh, yes! Right there with you! My husband has been suffering from major depression and suicidal thoughts this past year, and says that part of the problem is unresolved problems in our relationship. But he won’t TALK about it. Much of the time I feel completely rejected by him (although I know some of this is just due to the nature of depression, and the massive amounts of drugs he is on), but I also know that when I pray, and let go of the hurt, and just focus on showing him my love, letting God do what He does, things are so much better. It’s so hard! Perhaps I can do this challenge along with you?

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