Restoring the Lost Petal

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The Power of Praying With Your Spouse, Plus Printable Prayer Cards

Prayer is pivotal for your marriage. Each spouse should spend time praying for their mate, praying for their family and speaking protection over the institution of their marriage (and the marriages of their friends and family).

Great! I got that! I pray often for that kinda stuff!

Don’t close this post just yet….

How often do you pray with your spouse? Different story isn’t it?

I once asked on my Facebook page “Have you ever prayed for a stranger?” I got lots of positive responses. Then, I realized I had worded my question incorrectly. What I meant was “Have you ever prayed with a stranger?”  I commented below the original post and got this……………

nothing…………

crickets chirping……..

It is easy to pray for someone but not with someone. Spouses seem to be no different.

The power of praying with your spouse

Roughly 8% of Christian couples pray together on a regular basis. That is sad. Really sad. Is it any wonder the divorce rate among Christian marriages isn’t much better than that among non-Christians?

The very One who created you, your spouse and the institution of marriage should be the first one we run to with our problems, the first one we shout to with our victories and the one who sustains us for the long haul. Yet we seem to let God out of our marriage as if we somehow can read a few self-help books, talk to the folks at the water cooler and plod on through.

The Bible says a cord of three strands is not easily broken. How many strands are in your cord of marriage? Me….One, Spouse…..Two, ….. God! Oh yes! God, number three!

God is the third strand in your marriage and a very strong one at that. God never changes, His opinion doesn’t waiver and He doesn’t run on emotion. Wouldn’t you want Him to be the center of your cord of marriage? I know I do! This is the power: knowing God is first and seeking him together.

Keeping God Central

How do we keep God central in our marriage? There are several ways but one of them is praying together as a couple. If you are not in the habit of praying together or aren’t comfortable praying this can be a difficult task to begin but I assure you it isn’t as bad as you think. Here are some tips for praying together:

  • Pray a familiar passage of scripture together
    Most people know the Lord’s Prayer. Pray that together.
  • Pray silently but together
    You don’t need to pray out loud if you’re not ready to just yet. Pray silently for each other and your marriage but do it together. Give a gentle rub of the back or squeeze of the hand when you’re done.
  • Get Close
    Sit close and hold hands. You’re married, it’s okay to touch your spouse even if you’ve been at odds all day or the day before. It’s hard to stay angry when you’re holding hand and talking to God.
  • Start small
    If you’ve never prayed with your spouse, start out with short prayers until you gain confidence and comfort praying together.
  • Read devotional prayers
    If you can’t find the words or are weathering a rough season find a devotional book of prayers that you can read together.
  • Position and location aren’t important
    Brad and I pray standing in the kitchen, him holding his lunchbox and coffee just as he’s about to walk out the door. God honors your commitment to praying together not the posture you take when you pray.
  • Forget your feelings
    If you only prayed together when you both felt like it the chances of praying more than once a week would be slim. Put aside tired, angry, exhausted, busy, confused and stressed. Five minutes of praying together can change the entire day.

the power of praying with your spouse

For Women Only

Can we talk for a moment, just us gals? Guys, feel free to jump ahead to “Let’s Get Started” or read on and take to heart how much your wife needs you to pray.

If you’re the only one who ever prays out loud that’s okay. Give your husband an opportunity to pray silently, believe that he is and leave it at that.

I remember the first time Brad prayed for me. It wasn’t even in person. It wasn’t even on the phone. We were married in 2003 and the first prayer I recall came in 2015.

I had to go for a mammogram after feeling something odd in my breast. With one of his Aunt’s recent loss to breast cancer and another Aunt battling strong against breast cancer, this was a scary time for both of us. We were texting or emailing back and forth and he typed out a prayer to me. It was a precious moment. I cried.

I long for him to pray over me. I long for our morning prayer to be verbally two-sided but I trust that he prays for me. After all, God is not after eloquent words, He is after our hearts. I pray that one day Brad will open up enough to pray out loud for anything at all, especially our family.

Do not give up hope ladies. There is no guarantee that your husband will change. We cannot manipulate his free will. The Word tells us to be an example for our husbands specifically if they are a non-believer. How much more of an example are we if our husband’s spirit is saved and available to Holy Spirit?

prayer is an act of love

Let’s Get Started

Praying with your spouse is powerful. It not only protects but it helps builds yada (deep, intimate knowing) with one another. Prayer does not have to be long to be powerful. Starting the good habit of praying together may seem awkward but it’s worth the risk. To get you started you can download my free couples prayer pack. These short, easy read prayers are great to read as is or as a starter prayer for that particular topic.

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For more ways to make your marriage awesome be sure to check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage: Strengthen Your Most Intimate Relationship.

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