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Pursuing Passion Series: Ladies, You Have Power!

Welcome to the first in our series Pursuing Passion. This is our journey through the Passion Pursuit Bible Study. Thank you for joining us. We’re getting ready to talk about power. That is, the power you have as a wife, are you ready? I want to thank Family Christian for providing the DVD of the study for us. You are a blessing!

A Wise Woman

Someone just said, “Yeah right, what power?” I hear you. It’s a strange concept for some to consider that there is power in their role as wife, especially when many of us are taught wrong ideas about submission in marriage.

You have power in your marriage; power to build or power to destory

Whether we know it or not, we have power as wives. Juli and Linda say:

God has given you power to create intimacy in your marriage. In fact, we believe that every wife is actively using her power to either build up or tear down intimacy. The key is that most women don’t even know they have power, and they certainly don’t understand how they might be using it to destroy the oneness they long for.

The Bible tells us a wise woman builds her home, but with her own hands a foolish one tears it down. (Proverbs 14:1). The home is more than mortar and bricks; plywood and siding. The home is the atmosphere, relationships and intimacy between family members. And none is more important that the relationship and intimacy between husband and wife.

Using our power as wives is not about mastering our husbands or manipulating them to be men we want. Their hearts need to be pricked by Holy Spirit. Our power is in coming alongside our husbands and building them up.

A woman never marries the man of her dreams. She helps the man she married to become the man of her dreams.

A wise woman knows she has power and she knows how to use it honestly, authentically and for the good of her marriage. We have three areas (Power Zones as they’re called in the study) where we exert power for the benefit or detriment of our marriage:

  • Respect
  • Companionship
  • Sex


Our husbands have a need for respect in the same way we have a need to feel loved and cherished. This is not wrong, this is God’s design. I say for certainty that many women in my generation don’t understand or value a man’s need for respect. We don’t know the damage we do when we treat our husbands, fathers and sons as bumbling idiots rather than real men.


I shared this story with the ladies at the Bible Study. My husband’s late Aunt and his Uncle could not have children but they had a pet bird. When Uncle Lee would mow their sizeable back yard, Aunt Betty would take the bird out on the deck and watch Uncle Lee mow. The cousins were bewildered at how a woman could just sit there and watch a man mow. The sentiment was, “Why would you want to do that, aren’t there better things to do than watch a man mow grass?”

Surely there are more things to be done but nothing is better than the companionship with your spouse.  On the last night Aunt Betty was on Earth, her biggest concern was not for her health, or prayers for healing. No, she was concerned for Lee. Who would be there for him when she was gone.

That my friends, is companionship. Being there for your husband. Words aren’t necessary, sometimes it is your presence alone that speaks to him.

words aren't necessary.


Ah yes, the dreaded word S-E-X. Sex is powerful ladies. If it wasn’t powerful do you think advertisers and the media would focus on it so much? If men weren’t drawn to sexual image and innuendo would professional football teams have scantily clad cheerleaders? Would beer commercials have boobs?  It’s not a fault that a man is drawn to sex. The fault lies in the word’s twisting and abuse of sexuality. But you have power here too! You have power to be your husband’s sexual delight. You also have the power to tear down his manhood when you withhold sex as punishment or a means to even the score.

Sex is about so much more than two clunky bodies rubbing together between the sheets. That’s the focus of the next several weeks of this study. I’m looking forward to exploring God’s design for sex and His Word said about it.

Our Biblical Example

Did you know we have a whole book dedicated to showing us what it looks like to be powerful wife. I’m not talking about the famous Proverbs 31 woman, I’m talking about a whole book of the Bible. The Song of Solomon is an amazing example for us. Solomon’s bride understands her power. The second chapter of our study digs deep into the Song of Solomon. It’s a powerful revelation when you realize God inspired a book of His Word to inspire us to be extravagant lovers with our spouse.

You have power and you have an example in God’s word of how to use that power biblically with your husband. Don’t miss the message in Song of Solomon. It’s God breathed. Next time we’ll dig into God’s opinion about sexual intimacy. It’s exciting to see, right there in scripture what God thinks about sex.

Do you realize the importance of your power? How have you used it to build up or tear down in your marriage?

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