Restoring the Lost Petal

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The Unspoken

never let the words go unspoken

As she labored to breathe with friends and family around her she quietly whispered, “Lee,” and began to tear up.

I can’t imagine being told I had hours or days to live. The sheer shock of that news must be gut wrenching. As I stood there watching my husband’s aunt, who always had a smile on her face, tear up worrying about her husband all I could do was silently pray and marvel at this beautiful lesson the Lord was showing me.  Today I wondered, were there unspoken words she never got to hear, or never to to say? With time being of the essence, one has many things to think of in such a short time.

My ponderings force me to take stock in my own life and marriage. Would I be devoted enough to serve him right up to the end, worrying more about him than the hours I had left? More importantly, would I regret the unspoken?

So many things I don’t say to him. Excuses swirl in my brain, they come faster than I can process but before I know it my mind is made up not to speak what is on my heart. It boils down to a few words that hold such heavy weight:

Fear

Anger

Pride

Hurt

Too long have we lived in our marriage as ships passing in the night; accidentally making eye contact. Holding back all the words, all the feelings…..all the love and respect.

Maybe this reflection is selfish in the face of the pain the rest of the family is feeling, but I cannot help being introspective. Looking at how I can live this life to it’s fullest, thriving in love, faith and true happiness. I don’t want a to waste this pain. God whispers a lesson as individual as we are if we’re willing to listen through the pain of our circumstances.

No more will I allow fear, anger, pride or hurt to overshadow this marriage. The words will come, awkwardly at first, but they will come. There is too much good in this God-ordained institution to let human feelings get in the way. 

the unspoken

 

I will take the risk, I will speak, I will push through the hurts and pain. Because  words ring in the ears of our loved ones forever, but it is the silence that can deafen when they don’t hear the unspoken.

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Comments

  1. Wow! Surely something to think about!

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