Restoring the Lost Petal

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Finances, Faith & Fire: My Story As A Former Working Mama Part 2


“Msabu’s bleeding. She does not have this ox. This lion is hungry. He does not have this ox. This wagon is heavy. It doesn’t have this ox. God is happy, msabu. He plays with us.” ~ Farah, Out of Africa

In the movie Out of Africa Farah uses an analogy about god (little g) saying that “he plays with us. As a Kikuyu I don’t believe Farah, was no referencing our God yet sometimes when you’re in the trenches of life, waiting on Him to meet a need it can seem that way can’t it?

He speaks through His word, He gives you a word or revelation that lines up with that………….and then…………. nothin’ but wait.

God doesn’t play with us. He knows exactly what we need, when we need it and in what manner it will best be served to us.

I was miserable at work for three years.  For three years I tried my hardest to put 100% effort into my work. Partly because I was raised that way, partly because I had a boss I respected and partly because I was trying to be faithful to God. I “lost my witness” as they say over and over again though because I was miserable.

But even in my fleshly misery I was learning lessons that would be crucial on my path to being a stay at home mom.

Lesson 1: Finances

Brad and I both needed to be retrained in our finances.  The good money we made was wasted week after week while credit card debt piled up.

Even if Brad would have gotten a promotion and raise allowing me to quite (something I was sure would happen at one point over those three years) we would have floundered because we were horrible stewards of His resources. Over those three years we were trained and learned how to handled God’s money, how to budget, live within our means and work on getting out of debt.

Lesson 2: Faith in the Waiting

Looking back, I see that God needed to work on my faith in Him.  He needed me to understand with deep revelation what I wrote in part one, that faith is not just believing IN His promises, it’s believing IN His timing too.  It’s waiting when it hurts to leave your baby that first day back to work, it’s waiting when your toddler cries when you drop him off at a sitter one morning, it’s faith when you have week after week of days that quite frankly suck.

Faith is knowing that no matter what it looks like at this very moment one day it will be different. We just don’t know when one day is and half the time, okay 95% of the time we haven’t a clue with different will even look like no matter how hard we dream or imagine.

A year before I left He opened up a part time work from home job as a financial coach with ultra flexible hours that would allow me to work as much as I wanted when I wanted.  After crying out to him and finally admitting that He was in control of this whole work mess I got the call and offer for the financial coaching job.  God answered but still I waited to quit.  I couldn’t understand how he would throw this new job that totally fit my calling into my lap and then still not release me from the full time job.

Again, I was miserable but I was starting to trust that He had a plan.

Lesson 3: Fire

When the phone rang Friday August 24, 2012 with the news the first thing I did was go into the camper, hit my knees and pray.  Lesson #1 had stuck.  Faith. I knew that some how this was going to be okay one day though it was really, really bad right now. The fire started an 11 month journey through an initial remodel, to the condemning of our old home (due to age, not the fire), then 6 months of trying to get a mortgage (dealing with a bank that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone) and finally small hickups with the building process.

Do you see the circle? 

God needed us to understand biblical financial stewardship so that I could use my gifts of teaching to help others understand.  We needed a firm foundation of that understanding to practically and prayerfully handle the financial aspect of insurance money, a new house and replacing lost property. He needed me to have a firm revelation on faith so that I could walk out 11 months of living in a camper and dealing with banks and builders and believing that this whole mess would result in good we could never imagine.

The Closing Paragraph

This past April in faith I stepped out at work and made my unhappiness  respectfully known to my boss. We had a really good conversation about why I was unhappy and where my heart really laid (at home).

Within a month I was laid off, my position was eliminated.

Sure, I suspected something was up  as I farmed out much of my responsibility to work on a short-term project but I know God’s hand was upon my lay off and I can say with all confidence that my lay off was an answer to our prayers even though we didn’t really see it coming.

Who in a million years would ever think that a single car accident would result in us getting a brand new house and me being able to stay home from work? Seriously.  That it is totally crazy and totally God.  I never dreamed I would be living in a house designed by us, being debt free (besides the mortgage), helping other people with their finances, writing blog posts, prepping for homeschool and making rice flour brownies as a stay at home mom but here I am, thanks to God.

If you’re looking to be a stay at home mom I encourage you to have faith and seek Him.  Do not let others condemn you for working. Let Him show you how you’re to “get out” and remember to learn those lessons along they way. I don’t however recommend the house-fire method but hey, God’s gonna do what Gods gonna do!


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